Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
