Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.

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(714): View more from California

Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me

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(863): View more from Florida

i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him

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(408): View more from California

I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass

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(914): View more from New York

Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it

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(763): View more from Minnesota

using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think

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(309): View more from Illinois

I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol

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(647): View more from Ontario

THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING

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