I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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