we made out on top of his cat.
she smelled like a LAN party
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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