okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
