I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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