so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
