even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
