You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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