If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
