she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize