if only i could text you this smell
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
