My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
