On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
