I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
