He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
