WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize