i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
