I hate all girls vehemently.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
