The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
