You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
