that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
