I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
