i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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