just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
