you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
