dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
