either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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