whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
