He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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