well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
