I'm going to jail i love you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
