I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
