Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
