Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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