So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
