you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
