and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
