so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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