I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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