she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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