I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
