and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
