I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
