...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
