I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
