They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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