SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
