this just has baby written all over it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
