Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
