I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
