I need help removing her.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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