It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
