Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
