forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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