I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
