Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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