Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
