Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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