hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
