I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
