And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
